Of all the lovely ladies in the world, you chose her. She’s beautiful, talented and has a good heart. You’d do anything for her, but she doesn’t quite believe its true.
Does this sound familiar? The constant doubts…extreme jealousy…false accusations.
Isn’t it enough that I love her and want to spend my time with her?” you have asked.

Why is she so insecure?

First, you should note that everybody feels insecure at some point; and each person has a trigger. It could be at work, on the ball field, in social situations, or on the beach. Try to remember a time when you yourself didn’t feel as capable as a co-worker. Perhaps you’ve experienced a hitting slump in baseball. Maybe you felt uncomfortable at a party where you knew no one. Maybe you had that one summer when you were 15 pounds overweight and you didn’t want to take off your shirt at the beach.

Insecurity can be triggered by a number of things. Because a person feels insecure about one situation, it doesn’t mean that person has an inferiority complex or low self-esteem in all areas of life. It means there is an issue with that situation. A woman who feels insecure in a relationship may have had abusive parents or an abusive partner. Her last boyfriend may have cheated. She may have been abandoned by her husband. These are life situations that happen to many people, daily. Not everyone deals with it the same way. Some women may turn to alcohol, some may rebel and harden their heart, and some may clam up and withdraw from your affections.
The good news is, it doesn’t mean she’s broken. It means she hasn’t quite recovered from the pain. A devastating event can cause her to close herself off from the chance of that happening again. She may go “all in” one day, and retreat the next. Is it possible for her to be confident and "all in" all the time? Yes. How?

Trust. If you’ve heard it once you’ve heard it a thousand times: Trust has to be earned. If you love her, be patient and give her the time she needs to feel secure in this relationship. Give her time to trust YOU. If she lives in fear of rejection, or infidelity, or physical harm, she WILL most likely protect her heart. She may ask you questions that feel to you like accusations, but she’s most likely doing so to put her mind at rest.
Keep the lines of communication open. Ask her what makes her insecure. It might be something that you’re doing. Be supportive and reassure her. Validate her feelings. The next time a tantrum breaks out due to her insecurity, don't walk out, stay and talk.

And look, if you’re just miserable because you can’t earn her trust fast enough, then, there is no law that says you have to stay. You may feel like your paying for the sins of someone that came before you, and you’ll never reach her. After all, she has to be as willing to trust you – as you are to help her. I will say though, I’ve seen women get over these fears because there was a man who loved them enough. There may be many trials you’ll face, but each one will be checked off her list of insecurities until there are no more. If you love her, chances are, you can love her through it!

New year New You, Save up to 70% OFF