Should I stay or should I go?

Looking for some advice on next steps in a long distance relationship. I have been dating my college bf long distance off-and-on for 5+ years. A few years back he agreed to move to my city to continue the relationship in the same space. He ended up dragging his feet and I became frustrated with his lack of effort and I broke things off with him. After a few months apart we began to see each other again, still long distance. Our relationship became stronger and we seriously discussed ways to no longer be a plane ride away from each other. In the few months we spent apart the bf took on a new job with a great opportunity, the only catch was he needed to spend another 3-5 years minimum in his Midwest city. So, I took one for the team and decided I would stay in my Southern city for another 10 months, to finish out my lease, and then I would move to the Midwest so we could be together. While I was sad to leave my city I knew it was for the best and he was excited and grateful for my willingness to move to his city. We are now weeks away from me moving and the bf has started to act funny and weird towards me coming. I know there is no fault in being nervous, but it almost seems like he doesn't want me to move at all. He makes comments here and there about me rearranging my life to be with him, and he is concerned about what will happen if things don't work out and we break up and I have moved all the way out there. I know I am fine with giving up my job and city to really give our relationship a shot to see if this is the person I am meant to be with for the rest of my life. But I am the one taking all the risks and he doesn't have to make very many changes. Should I be concerned about his current change in attitude towards me moving? Should I reconsider my plans if he is not 100% on board all of a sudden? Anyone out there ever go through something similar?

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  1. I think you were willing to give the guy a lot. If he wanted you there, he would make you feel comfortable. He should support and respect your decision…not make you question it. Move on. You’ll find the right one.

  2. Stay put. Chasing a man to another city is not a good idea. Been there – done that. Stay true to yourself. The right guy will come along!! Good luck!!

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