Break-ups are hard -
whether you’re on the receiving end and heart-broken - or you were the one to break things off.

How do you know when you’re ready to date again?
Breaking ties can be a traumatic and emotional process. Professionals have compared it to the grieving process one may experience with the death of a loved one. Even though a significant other has not left this earth – he or she has left our lives nonetheless, sometimes resulting in intense heartache and pain.

The first steps that are often experienced in the grief process are shock and denial that the relationship has ended. As one begins to accept that the other person is not coming back, the shock is typically replaced by pain, guilt, and thoughts of “what if…” and “maybe if I would have…” This negative self-talk can be accompanied by depression and loneliness; which is the gateway to self-reflection.

Self-reflection is an important part of assessing the relationship and your role in it. Mistakes are a natural part of life. By reflecting on your behavior, as well as your partner’s, you learn what you will change at your next go-round at love, and what you are willing – and not willing to tolerate with your next one.

Is it okay to go out on a date if you'res till heart-broken over another?
If you’re honest with yourself, meaning you are not running from the pain, but truly confronting the hurt and giving yourself permission to move on, then absolutely!

- But -

If you’re stuffing the sadness and looking for another person to sweep you off your feet, don’t be surprised if it ends in another hurtful break-up. Give yourself some time and enjoy being alone for a while. It makes you stronger, and makes you appreciate the next “first date” even more.

For the one who did the breaking up, don’t be the serial dater. If you find yourself going from one serious relationship to the next, then you have some self-reflecting of your own to do. Determine what it was about that person that you just couldn’t live with, and don’t go after the next one with the same traits. Know what you want before you get another heart involved.

Happy Dating!