By Dave Rynne
Â â€œWhat do you think youâ€™re doing?â€ she said as she turned and brushed away my hand.
â€œUh, helping you out the door?â€ came my startled reply.
â€œTake it down a notch, Romeo.â€
Well, there it is. The end result of trying to be affectionate and itâ€™s misread as being too forward.
We were walking out of a restaurant after a very good first date. I feel Iâ€™m pretty good at reading verbal and non-verbal cues, and my radar pointed to â€œall systems go.â€Â Â We were having a good date.
After dinner as we were walking out the door, I opened it for her and put my hand on the small of her back as she walked past me.Â To my surprise, she made the olâ€™ â€œSlow down Romeoâ€ comment.
My simple affectionate gesture was met by her response as if I was Jack the Ripper.
Have you ever been there?
You know, when you feel that things are going smoothly, the cues seem to be there: the smiles, the body language and the invitation to move in for the kissâ€¦.
Then â€œWHOA, hold on mister.â€ She recoils as if you havenâ€™t brushed in days.
Whatâ€™s the difference between Affectionate and Forward? Are they mutually exclusive? Is it possible to be both? Lets explore:
There are many ways to be affectionate, from the kind word, a light touch, a look, and a laugh. Â Â But even these simple gestures can be seen as being forward if the timing is wrong. I think itâ€™s all about the timing. How you say a word can be viewed as being too forward. You lace that sweet remark with just enough double entendre and you may be eating your teeth. That light touch may cross a boundary that causes her to put you in the â€œplayer zoneâ€ category.Â (Now you are just another dude out for sex in her mind.)
Men, if we LISTEN to the woman when we are out with her, we will be in a much better position to hear what she is saying.Â If we donâ€™t want to be mistaken for the guy who is only interested in the shortest distance from the restaurant to her bed, we need to pay close attention to her comfort level.Â Be conservative with your level of affection in the beginning.
The Date Dialogue team wants everyone to meet his or her dream partner.Â A great relationship requires openness and a willingness to communicate. Weâ€™re here to help you get through those first steps: the feeling out process â€“ and recommend ways to navigate the treacherous waters of the dating sharks (both men and women) out there. We are not â€œknow-it-allsâ€ by any means, so we open the conversation to you.Â Please feel free to add your thoughts to any article we post â€“ and chime in on other Date Dialogue usersâ€™ story.Â Itâ€™s all about DIALOGUE, so donâ€™t be shy.Â We want to hear your thoughts!
How do YOU make sure your affection isnâ€™t taken for being too forward?