How to Know if She's Into You 

Did you see the movie “He’s Just Not That Into You” (2009)?   This very funny blockbuster was based on a self-help book with the same title by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. 
According to these authors, as men, you do not play “hard to get.”  You do not date other women to make another woman feel jealous.  You do not refuse to answer a woman’s phone calls or texts because you’re building anticipation for the next date with her. The authors say this: “Men are not complicated, although they’d like women to think they are. And there are no mixed messages. The truth may be: He’s just not that into you.”

I’m going to apologize in advance for the harsh words you are about to read here, but the sad truth is, some women will go to these lengths if she is into you.  She may ignore you, date other men to make you jealous and allow your calls to go to voicemail.  

Why would a woman act in a maner that contradicts how she feels? 

Many of us are taught to do so.  We’ve been warned not to appear too eager. This theory can be based on the fact that males, by nature, are hunters, and he’ll lose interest once he conquers the chase.  (I conjure up visions of a dog and piece of meat with that concept, but I think at some point in my life, it made sense.)  

Consider the self-help books about dating, like “The Rules” by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider (published in 1995.)  Women were advised to never contact the man first and to wait until he calls.  This started a revolution of writers who followed suit.

Walk into any bookstore and you’ll see shelves lined with books that instruct women to refrain from revealing her true feelings. Women have been inundated with rules and formulas and guidelines to follow. For example: one author encourages women to refrain from having sex until after the tenth date. 

Seriously, if you feel so inclined to throw around rules – one would think that “No Sex Before Marriage” would be the rule.  But, date number ten.  That’s going to lock him in.

Here are some more:

"End the conversation first”

“Wait four hours before you respond to his text”

 But my favorite is:  
“Stay quiet on the weekend”    < Really?? Who stays quiet on the weekend?  As if.  AND! They were referring to Facebook.  I’m going to go with SHUT UP!  Quit with the rules already.  Geez! One slip, and a girl will think she screwed it all up and is going to grow old alone! 

Trust me, that fear factor crap sells a lot books…(And I want my money back!)So men, of course this is quite confusing for you.  It turns out that the behavior of both a disinterested woman and one who is interested appear to be the same.    

I will say though, from experience, that most of us grow out of it.   A mature woman will not want to waste a moment of your time or her own time pretending that she is interested if she is not.  If she is interested, she won’t want to risk missing out on an opportunity to let you know. She may want to be pursued, so heads-up, but a lady who is into you will put you on even ground pretty quickly.